The vast majority of humans are completely ignorant about the fact that our greatest tool is at the same time our biggest threat to inner peace and freedom. We interact with it constantly, from waking to sleep, and still most remain totally unaware of its effect. Even during large parts of sleep we engage with it. Our relationship with this tool ranks among our strongest addictions. Yet the moment we start relating to it more consciously, more mindfully, and with care, life becomes noticeably easier, happier, and more peaceful.
With this blogpost I share my personal views and subjective experiences with one of our greatest assets and, simultaneously, our biggest saboteur of our wellbeing: the thinking mind. I have observed this thinking mind carefully for well over a decade. What I found should shock most people. It also handed me clear, practical clues on how to achieve and maintain inner peace and cultivate real freedom.
The inspiration
Around 2012 I was teaching a simplified version of non-violent communication (NVC). The core idea is simple: when we get triggered we cannot blame the other person for our feelings. Our emotional reactions are created inside us. The other person only presses a button, the button itself is fully ours. Our feelings are homemade.
Because I was teaching this, I became intensely curious about how it worked in me. What are my triggers? How does my thinking mind behave in those moments? What signals does my body give, and how do I respond? I wanted full awareness of my inner workings. So I dedicated myself religiously to understanding “me.” I wanted to know myself.
Calming the waters
The first step was calming the mind. I needed more space between individual thoughts so I could actually see what was happening up there. I stopped consuming media and digital entertainment. In practice that meant: no TV, no radio, no music, no internet except for practical use, and limited reading. The intensity of my thoughts dropped quite quickly. It was still far from peaceful and far from quiet, but it created a little breathing room. Just a little. Enough to dig deeper.
The question we never ask
As soon as I became more aware of my thoughts, a very specific one kept appearing. It was strange, but it turned out to be extremely useful. I have moved past the shame around it, so I can share it openly.
At times I noticed a thought about having sex with a particular woman. This shocked me. I was in a happy relationship. The connection with that other woman had been intense and beautiful, but brief, and it had ended about five years earlier. At first I felt ashamed and guilty. Then I deliberately shifted into curiosity and began to investigate. That decision became a turning point in my self-inquiry.
I asked myself one simple question:
“How did I get to this thought? What did I think before?”
At first I could remember nothing. The previous thought had already vanished. I kept pushing. Eventually I remembered, and I was stunned.
The thought before had been about a task I hadn’t done yet, something I felt guilty about. I had given myself an emotional band-aid: I swapped an uncomfortable feeling for a pleasant one. I wondered whether I was dealing with a self-soothing mechanism that had gone rogue, or something deeper. So I went further.
From then on, every time the sexual thought appeared I immediately asked: “What didn’t I do? What was the thought right before this?” Every single time, a thought about something unfinished was sitting underneath. Most of those unfinished things were trivial. I had built an unconscious pattern of feeling guilty about almost anything left undone. The intensity of the guilt had zero relation to the actual importance of the task. And this was only the tip of the iceberg.
Scam and random bullshit
I stopped limiting the question to guilt or sexual thoughts. I applied it to every thought I noticed:
“How did I get here? What came before?”
Then I went further back, and further still, until I reached the first thought or the first subtle sensation that started the whole chain.
What I found was both troubling and liberating. Eventually I could watch complete subconscious thought-flows from beginning to end. My patterns were clear:
1. A typical flow contains about 5 to 7 thoughts before a new one begins.
2. There is almost no meaningful connection between the individual thoughts.
3. They are meaningless mental filler at best, and pure scam and random bullshit at worst. They disturb inner peace to varying degrees.
4. I do not need them. I am better off without.
5. For an untrained person they remain hidden.
6. Whatever we take in through the senses, especially eyes and ears, feeds these subconscious flows.
7. Something in the present moment often triggers a flow, yet once the flow is running it is only about the past or the future. While we are inside it, the rest of the senses go quiet. You can sit by a loud ocean and not hear it. A new sensory impression may eventually pull you out or start the next chain.
One of my random thought flows
Here is a single real example. I sat down under a tree to meditate. As I was settling, a thought appeared and I traced it backwards:
I suddenly saw myself in the 1990s sitting behind a computer, searching my last name on Altavista and finding an exclusive watch brand.
That image had been triggered by a thought about my Krieger watch.
Which had been triggered by the image of a man from my childhood town who always had one tanned arm with a watch and one pale arm in summer (he was a truck driver, no air-conditioning, arm hanging out the window).
Which had been triggered by me looking at my own legs under the tree: one in the sun, one in the shade, and wondering whether one would end up more tanned after the meditation.
Trigger in the now → thought about one tanned leg → childhood truck driver → his watch → my watch → 1990s computer search → I “woke up.”
The whole chain took less than ten seconds. Completely random mental filler. Harmless in this case. Now imagine the same mechanism when the input is violence, war, or fear.
These flows run all day, every day. A mixture of fleeting images and short internal sentences or dialogues. The only times the mind largely stops doing this are when we use it deliberately (problem-solving), when we are fully absorbed in the senses, when we meditate, or when we are in deep sleep.
Looking back at the observations
Look at the connections in the example: random associations, no deeper meaning, no real value. Without that chain I would simply have started meditating sooner. I would have been better off.
If a flow has 5–7 thoughts and we only notice the last one, we are conscious of maybe 15–20 % of our thoughts at best. That already means 80 % stays hidden. Cognitive linguist George Lakoff estimates we are aware of only about 2 % of our thinking. Whether the real number is 80 % or 98 %, isn’t relevant. The conclusion is:the vast majority of the mental activity that shapes how we experience reality is running completely under the radar. That is insane.
The relation to OBE and free will
One of the core skills required for a conscious out-of-body experience is the ability to stay focused and not let the mind wander. When I work with people over longer periods, quieting and observing the thinking mind is almost always one of the first things we train. As you can imagine, this has profound implications on their mental peace.
Some years ago I guided a man on a OBE journey, who was curious about free will. During the experience we found ourselves at a place where all knowledge of the universe was said to be archived. We asked many questions. One of them was: “Does free will exist?”
The answer came back clear and direct:
“Yes, free will exists for humans, but only for those who know what and how they think. For those who lack that knowledge, free will is an illusion.”
That landed with full force. When we remain unaware of the constant mental clutter and how it shapes our reactions, we have no real insight into how our decisions are formed. Old criticisms, leftover guilt, floating shame, all of it sits in the noise and quietly limits what we believe is possible. Awareness of the mechanism is what turns the illusion into something closer to actual choice.
How about you?
How aware are you about your thoughts? Are you curious enough to explore your thoughts, are you open to question “How did I get to this thought? What did I think before?” It is not about finding proof, it is about being more effective, more peaceful and more free.
It may feel difficult at first. With consistent practice it becomes easier and clearer.
Space for change
Real change rarely happens in the middle of a storm, yet every storm can show us that change is needed. If you feel ready to explore more headspace, clearer thinking, and a stronger sense of direction of your life (or of the world), you are welcome to reach out. I am open to a conversation, free of charge and with no expectations. Just an exchange of observations, ideas and experience.